Painting nails and catching up.

It's the end of yet another snow day, which means that I have edited photos and painted toenails and Netflix-marathoned...and I still have time to blog!  You're welcome ;)

My friend, Jessica and I started an after school running club for twenty five 1st-5th graders.  We're doing a Couch to 5k and using interval training to prepare them for an off-campus race in May. They're sweet and [generally] enthusiastic and FAST.  It's nice to have my friend aaaaaand 25 adorable running buddies by my side as I get back in shape!

I auditioned for the musical OKLAHOMA at a local community theater [which I figure is kind of a "bucket list" item while I still live in Oklahoma] and got the part of Gertie Cummings, the flirtatious man-chaser from the next town over, known for her obnoxious laugh.  I'm not on stage very much, but I have some lines, a kiss aaaaaand a cat fight...so it's certainly not boring.  The show mounts on April 4th and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it'll all come together by opening night ;)

Another birthday has come and gone...and I'm yet another year older.  I guess that's kind of how birthdays tend to work!  I had a mellow afternoon with church, friends and some time to relax...and then I went out with a random and fabulous assortment of girlfriends in the evening.  The cheesecake was [as always] delicious and the company was lovely.  It's a little nerve-wracking to bring people together from all different areas of your life and hope that they get along, but apparently I had nothing to worry about with these ladies. Theater friends, college friends, McAuliffe & Boevers friends alike...got along famously and made me feel incredibly blessed.

As I look ahead on the next year, I am excited about moving in with my dear friend, Lauren this summer and about all kinds of other adventures on the horizon :)

My rocky relationship with running.

Once upon a time, I ran to lose weight.

And then I ran to accomplish goals and push my body to its limits.

[One of my very proudest moments was crossing the finish line at the Route 66 Half Marathon last November]

And then I got injured.

And did physical therapy.

And started to get out of shape.

And lose interest in running.

Over the summer, I started training for this year's Route 66 Half.

And I began to dread every run.

I felt sluggish and unmotivated.

And any enjoyment I once felt was gone.

I ran the Tulsa Run in October and it was probably my hardest race to date.

Slow pace, stubborn cramps, etc.

All I could think about was crossing the finish line...and how to avoid running that kind of distance in the future.

By that afternoon, it was clear to me that running and I needed to take a break.

See,

time is valuable.

And many things demand our attention.

When we have control over what we are invested in, it's important that those things be positive and productive, as well as challenging.

When they cease to be any one of those things, space and/or distance is needed.

So.

I sold my Route 66 race bib to a friend and told distance running to take a hike for a while.

Ironically enough, almost immediately, I was asked to be a running buddy for kids from my school district doing their very first 5k.  

I got to run with a sweet third grade girl named Gracie and it was the most rewarding thing I had done in a while.

I loved setting goals with Gracie--deciding to run from one street light to the next or for 30 consecutive seconds.  I loved encouraging Gracie when the going got tough.  I loved holding her hand as she crossed the finish line.  I loved the look of pride on her face after she had done something she didn't think possible.

I left with a huge smile on my face and inspiration in my heart.

Just as a relationship ebs and flows, goes through hills and valleys...so do running and I.

We may need some space, but I have a good feeling we're not over ;)

Quiche [Recipe].

I cooked.

And I decided to blog about it--mostly because it gave me an excuse to take pictures.  

Let's be honest here ;)

Here are the ingredients:

6 eggs [I actually used 4 eggs and the Egg Beater equivalent of 2 eggs]

1 cup of shredded mozzarella cheese

2.5 ounces of turkey breakfast sausage

1 cup of chopped spinach leaves

1 frozen pie crust

Preheat the oven to 400.

Brown the sausage.

Put the eggs in a bowl.

 Add the spinach.

 And the cheese.

 

Pour the mixture into the pie crust and put it in the oven for 35[ish] minutes.

Ta da!

The quiche serves 8 people and is only 185 calories per slice!

It served as a fabulous post-Zumba meal for me this evening, flanked by apple slices and whole wheat goldfish.  Yum :)

Gettin' Honest.

It's past my bedtime.
But I'm up.
Sitting on my unmade bed.  In my messy house.  With unfinished work in front of me.

Sometimes, things don't go the way you want them to.  And it especially sucks when you're the only one to blame.

Lately, I have been feeling like a failure.  I've put on some of the weight I lost last year, given in to a few old eating habits, let a silly injury be my excuse to avoid running and been a little irresponsible with my money.

I have lost focus and discipline.

But.
I am reminded of a few things.

--I have a loving God, who, despite what my over-analytical, works-based mind tells me, loves me regardless.  Even on days when I'm running late or being lazy. 
--I have amazing parents who are my ever-present cheerleaders; always there to lift my spirits, encourage me and help in any way they can.
--I have incredible friends who don't judge me and who remind me that we are all human.
And.
--I have a fresh start tomorrow.
A chance to do it.  Make it happen.  Turn over a new leaf.  Jump back on the bandwagon.

Wish me luck!

Different.

In the journey of weight loss, it's really easy to have a certain picture in your mind of what you look like.
Unfortunately, that picture is usually a very old, much larger picture than what you look like in actuality.
Sometimes I have to consciously look in the mirror and notice how different I look now.  Or put two pictures next to each other in order to see the change.
Yesterday, I was editing pictures from my day downtown with Ashlee and I actually noticed a difference and thought I would share:

[yesterday]

[september 2010]

thank you, Jesus that there is a difference.

I am woman. Hear me roar.

On Saturday, I did something I didn't think I could do.

I ran the Warrior Dash.

http://warriordash.com/

Roommate and I woke up at the crack of dawn, packed our car full of old towels, snacks, Walmart bags and water bottles and drove out into the boonies of Morris, Oklahoma.

Once we got of our paperwork taken care of and our gear checked, we headed to the start line and got our game faces on [even though I was seriously nervous about not being harcore enough].

 

The race was a 5k with obstacles and there was a lot more intense running than I was expecting.  I guess I was thinking that the run would be flat and that the obstacles would be evenly spread out throughout the event, but I was wrong on both counts!  It felt like the majority of the running was uphill and we ran a full 1.5 miles before we even hit our first obstacle.

I had so much fun and felt so accomplished at the end.  I remember feeling like I was going to die a little bit during my last 5k and this time, I felt energized and excited and like I could keep going.  What a great difference :)

I was also so glad that Kaley did it with me.  It wouldn't have been nearly as fun or easy without her!

Thanks to Kale's waterproof camera, here are some fun pictures of our Warrior Dash experience:

Shopping can be...fun?

I've never enjoyed shopping.  Trying things on can be very depressing when you aren't happy with the way you look in any of them.

But today, I turned a corner.  I realized that this new body of mine is easier and more fun to dress.  See?

I never used to wear sleeveless things because I didn't like my arms.  And I haven't worn shorts [besides boy's basketball shorts] in years, but today I bought a pair :)

I think the picture I have in my head is a picture of what I used to look like, but today I really saw a difference in myself...in the sizes I tried on, in the mirror and in the way I felt.

This weight loss journey has been hard [I still struggle on a daily basis with making good food choices and not wanting to work out], but it has been sooooo worth it.  I love that I am healthier, I love that I am smaller and I love the confidence I have gained.  Life is so much better nowadays!

Learning to Love This New Body..and Myself.

When I started counting calories and running, it was for two reasons: first of all, I needed to get healthier and secondly, I was part of a competition.  Throughout the course of the Biggest Loser competition, I worked hard.  I worked hard because I enjoyed seeing the results, but as I look back on it, I think the real reason I worked hard was because I couldn't stand to let my friends [my team] down.

Now that the competition is over, it's much harder to be motivated.  There isn't a prize to be won or the once-intense accountability, and most importantly, there isn't a team to benefit from my weight loss.  I have to be motivated by my own desires to be healthier and lose weight.  It has to be for me.  And that's where the struggle is.  I have to remind myself that I am enough--my self esteem, my health, my future, my body--that's motivation enough to run and eat spinach and drink water and lift weights.

I am enough.

Here I am, 15 pounds away from my goal weight and, truth be told, I think I sabotage myself because I'm terrified of seeing that magical number on the scale and still not being completely satisfied with what I see in the mirror.  I want to love myself regardless of size or weight.

I am enough.

I wanted to share some of the little things that make me feel successful on the days when I feel like I haven't done anything extraordinary.  The little things that are helping me to love my new body...and myself.

[i have a collar bone now!]

[there's room to spare in my once-tight rain boots]

[that ring used to go on my middle finger and then it started falling off]

[mediums are sometimes too big nowadays]

[drawstrings are a must because this waist keeps shrinking!]

It's definitely a process, but a good one :)